sweet dreams cascade into thoughts of you
like you curls, slow rapids before the fall
the moon as a shimmering crescent in your eye
a glimmer, a twinkle to spy

crest-fallen memories give way to bitter thoughts
the rope strangles, becoming taught

hate swells up but laughter humbles
and for but a lost moment,
here i am again, laying upon some soft cloud

you, day dream, a swift gift

i'm tired. its been a while since i posted here. i've just been doing work work work. and that amounts to pretty much it.

oh the exciting life i live....

i've been reading "sometimes a great notion".

at one point a character is thinking back to how he met his wife and hes thinking about the day he met her and the first time they made love, and after words he ritualistically asks what does she want out of life and she gets to replying the she wants to be something to somebody some day and he is of course wondering what to whom when and she just says that she wants to be something to somebody someday so he asks, well how will you know when you are something to somebody someday she says to him, i won't. he will.

anyways, thats just about the most wonderful thing i ever read

愛は死ぬ夢だ。でも、僕たちは世界へ行って、愛しに行く。毎日。
僕のこころが　きみまで行く。そして、僕が来る。

yea, angst

there are times when a certain loneliness consumes my mind set. when it does my body aches very literally, a physical manifestation of pain that no aspirin or tylenol will cure

its an odd thing for an intellectual perspective. to know so well that one is not alone yet to feel alone. to return home evening after evening having spent time with friends and then feel alone

although my closest friend has just moved away, not too far but far enough to make more infrequent our already infrequent meetings


on the other hand, maybe i just need some caffiene

did you know? i'm a genious.

today after work i went to the store to get some cutlery being butter knives can only cut so much

yester day i had gone to the store to get bananas to make banana bread but all the had were green bananas so i tossed them in the freezer to speed up there disent into mush for making bread

i arrived home with my two nice new knives and decided to take the bananas out of the freezer but instead of letting them thaw like i knew i shouldi thought, i've got knives i can cut them up now

a minute and a slip later my left thumb had slic in deep right through all the layers of skin..... ouch ouch ouch, being much to serious a cut for a band aid i went to the emergency room at meritor where a nice doc stiched up my wound, he happened to have a scar the same size as my cut in the same location with the same orientation and claimed he got it the same way though i'm sure he was just giving me the business as they say

i have now spent an xmas eve in an ER, check that off the list of things to do in life

we all want to write out our angst and have it received as well as the greats had their ramblings taken and consumed and printed and spread out to the masses. we all aspire to whine with such decadent wordplay as to be remembered at least as the archetype of the cliche, often nameless but certainly known and revered.

we sit and look longingly out at the world, the mouthpiece of our generation so convinced that we have the right words, the correct words, the perfect words to describe this so called imperfect world and we are no doubt as wrong as we are right

it is the individual's image of perfection that is often flawed although skewed completely by selfish lust even in selfless acts and so we kill a bit of ourselves each day with each breath awaiting the winter of our coming years, adopting of course the same old metaphor

life leaves certain pains behind, my bones and body sometimes ache as i let myself be in a loneliness at a time when i should have nothing but happiness, but maybe its that i can come up for air and have time to look about myself , realizing what i lack in a very immaterial sense

so today i stained the brand new front door my parents bought, tomorrow im gonna put on polyeurethane coatings and pack my stuff.

friday i move into my new place up in madison... woohoo! and on monday i get to start me new job

i got a job at epic in verona... so i guess i'll have something to do again which will be nice

the other day i was driving down the highway after dark, the road was that dark black of all fresh roads and but for the paint of lane demarcation i would not know the horizon, it seemed i was sinking in to the sky or rising to meet it,a wonderful delusion